[christinecook]

I broke up with my ex two years ago. While we were broken up we dated other people (I had two short term relations), but nothing worked out. Three months ago, I reconnected with my ex boyfriend who I broke up with 2 years ago. Things seemed to have improved, but we still had some differences. However, things were not as bad as it were 2 years ago. I reconnected with my ex, right after I was dumped by a guy who I was dating for 3 months or so. I am pretty emotional, so it was hard for me to get back with my ex boyfriend (broke up 2 years ago) though I was with the guy who dumped, only for a very short time. I felt like I never received a closure from that short term one, and clearly he had dumped me when his priorities changed. Me and my boyfriend (who I was in a relationship and broke up two years ago), this time had our fun times, but also had some differences. And we both had some sort of trouble making this work. We end things, we miss each other and then we get back, and then again some comes up, and we would not be talking for some time, and then get back. Things were not that smooth. The point is we were so attached to each other, also can't say things were really bad. We could have worked in it to make it better. Two weeks ago, he finally told me that he was done (like another break up) and we were not talking, and that's when the guy who dumped (short term) me re-enters my life. I agree that it was my fault that I let him enter my life, however I wanted to understand what went wrong and maybe this way I would get a closure, or maybe he has his side of the story, and I let him meet me outside. He apologized and explained his side of the story, and he walked me home. I am not going to lie, I liked his company, but I had conflicting thoughts in my head. He told me that he wanted some water, and asked if he could come inside. I was not very comfortable, and I do not want to defend myself for doing that, but i let him in. I accept it is my mistake. But I found myself feeling really helpless. And this guy started making moves, Clearly he came back to have sex with me. I pushed him away many times, and I told him that I can't do this, because all I was thinking about right now was about someone else (my ex). He kept trying, but i didn't budge. And finally he left. I felt happy that I couldn't even feel anything for this guy. I felt that I did the right thing, even though I should not have let him into my place. After a few days, I reached out to my ex (who broke up with me, the long term one), and tried to make things fine. Me being an honest individual, told him about what happened in his absence, and he didn't seem to care much, and later told me that he can't get past that this other guy touched me, and that i let him into my place in his absence, and that this other guy slept on my bed. I apologized multiple times for letting that happen, and told him again and again how I couldn't do anything with that guy, and even if i did, we were broken up. But he kept saying that I am characterless, and that I let some guy who dumped me back in my life with ease, and that he can't trust me again. and now he says if he wants me back in my life, I should not even go out with any guys, including my normal friends who I have known for years, and that he can't trust me. I am not someone who sleeps around, even when I was single I haven't done that. And I have always been honest, I never lied, or did things behind his back. And it hurts when he questions my character, even though I am not saying what I did was right. I would need your thoughts here. Should I stop talking to every man in my life including my friends, to gain his trust back? Did I do something so bad, while we were not together, that the trust is broken?

[talaniman]

I really feel that you should live and enjoy your life and tell the ex to screw himself and his selfish insecure demands and leave you alone. Don't even consider his demands, go back to even talk to him, or look back on the past you had that was rocky at best.

Move forward and look ahead to better times and people and romances and work on making YOU a better happier you. You don't need the trust of the ex, nor the ex to hold you back from that. No shame in having relationships that don't work out no matter how bad you want them to, or how hard you tried to make them work, but it's a shame to be stuck on them after they are certainly over.

That's a losing cycle that only holds YOU back.

[christinecook]

Absolutely 🙂