[concerned grandma 6]

I am a concerned grandma. My son & daughter-in-law are going to homeschool my grandson for kindergarten and then send him to public first grade next year when his sister will go to public kindergarten. He will be 6 the end of December.

He is very bright and the actual learning part of kindergarten does not concern me. My concern is that he needs the socialization of kindergarten. He also needs to listen to other adults and have something that is his own. He has two year old twin siblings along with the 4 year old sister. He gets bored with always playing with the younger kids.

Also, I think that when children enter kindergarten they all enter on a level playing field. When he enters first grade all of the other children will be familiar with the school and comfortable with the teachers and other children. I feel he will be at a big disadvantage.

The town is 1700 and the school is small.

Does anyone have any thoughts or experience in this matter?

[Wondergirl]

What is the curriculum for homeschooled Kindergarten? Wouldn't that be something the parents have already worked on with the boy, or can easily do while he attends a brick-and-mortar classroom?

Are the parents trying to avoid the "aggravation" of traveling to the school with only one child in the car?

I agree with you. The biggest part of Kindergarten is the socialization with other children and learning classroom skills such as listening to instructions, taking turns, sitting quietly for a specified time, etc. Your grandson won't be able to do that at home, because at home alone with his teacher those tasks will be much easier without distractions. And yes, the next year in first grade, he will be the "odd" one whom no one knows, although at that age, he should soon find his place in the class.

It isn't your decision to make. Any "hysteria" and arguing on your part will totally turn off the child's parents. Is there a way to subtly get your points across and convince them that homeschooling for only a year won't be helpful to your grandson?

(I taught preschool for three years and was a Kindergarten sub and aide.)

[concerned grandma 6]

Hi Wondergirl,

I, too, taught pre-school for 12 years and have subbed in public schools.

I have tried hinting, but have never come right out and voiced my opinion. My philosophy is to give my opinion when asked, but if I am not asked I don't volunteer my opinions. Thus... the reason for trying to get other's feedback and experience through this website.

I hinted that he might be bored at always playing with the younger children and his mom's answer was "he'll just have to get over it".

These are very educated and intelligent parents with very strong opinions. I am at a loss!

[macksmom]

My daughter starts kindergarten this year too :) She has no other siblings and often gets bored playing with me. I think it is very important to choose either one or the other... home school or public school... not a mixture of the two. Kindergarten is like a stepping stone, it eases children in to the school setting and get them familiar with what will be expected. It also develops their social skills. I think if she is sending him to public school next year, she just needs to start him out there. I fear it will be more of an adjustment to go from home schooling to 1st grade in a public school, especially at the young age.

[Wondergirl]

I feel your pain.

Why not send him to school? Do they give a real reason? Homeschooling for only one year seems um dumb, and a bit lazy. How far would they have to drive to his Kindergarten? (Town of 1700 isn't big or traffic-y.) Or maybe it's just the disruption of their day? I'm getting the feeling this decision is more about them than about him.

(I like how you write. I KNEW you were an intelligent, educated person! We are probably of an age... )

[Eileen2005]

Hi,

I know it is difficult to see that your loved ones are doing something wrong and keep quiet. It is a pity they do not ask for your opinion. I lost my mom after I gave birth to my daughter and I am so sad she is not here anymore to give me her thoughtful hints about raising my child. Maybe you could find a way to discuss it with them without implying that you are interfering. Or maybe you can just discuss it with your son and show him articles in this regard and ask if you can help if there are problems. However, remember, no parents are perfect and I think probably they have their own reasons and are having problems that they cannot explain. Even if they do not listen to you, you should not be worried about this. You have done your part and raised your own children and now it is their responsibility to raise theirs. Besides, there are probably other children in the school who have not gone to kindergarten and he will not be the only one. He is lucky to have a grandma like you.

[Fr_Chuck]

Of course I am a firm believer in home school if the parents have the time for it. As for as being social, is the child in any activities, mothers day out, several home school parents meeting once a week. Perhaps music lessons for homeschool kids. Even Sunday school at church helps.

But often the home school child will be much further advanced if the parents will put a lot of energy and time into this

[GoldieMae]

I agree with Fr Chuck. If the child has other extra-curricular activities, home schooling is not a bad thing. But activities outside of the house are an absolute must. Sorry, need to spread the love.

[happylady123]

I think it's important to send children to school, it's time to cut the cord. Especially if they plan on sending him to school for 1st grade he might as well get used to the idea of being in a classroom now. This is the time where the kids learn proper classroom behavior. He can miss out on making new friends, as well as learning how to interact with children without his parents around. Home school can work, but I feel school is an important part of a child's life.

[tcooper]

I am a concerned grandma. My son & daughter-in-law are going to homeschool my grandson for kindergarten and then send him to public first grade next year when his sister will go to public kindergarten. He will be 6 the end of December.

He is very bright and the actual learning part of kindergarten does not concern me. My concern is that he needs the socialization of kindergarten. He also needs to listen to other adults and have something that is his own. He has two year old twin siblings along with the 4 year old sister. He gets bored with always playing with the younger kids.

Also, I think that when children enter kindergarten they all enter on a level playing field. When he enters first grade all of the other children will be familiar with the school and comfortable with the teachers and other children. I feel he will be at a big disadvantage.

The town is 1700 and the school is small.

Does anyone have any thoughts or experience in this matter?

Hello
I have a 4 year old daughter also and she will beginning Kindergarten this year on August 20 . I believe it is important for her to go to school to interact with kids her age. I know it will be a big adjustment but I know it help her out in the long run.

[seasea]

My daughter turned 5 August 24, and my youngest daughter turned 3 in May. My husband and I had made up our minds last Spring to keep our oldest daughter in preschool for another year and start her in Kindergarten when she is 6. Our preschool teacher agreed that this would be best for her, and we were happy with the decision for many reasons.

When my husband's parents came to visit, they had very strong opinions about how she needed to start school this year in Kindergarten. They were certain that she would be harmed if we went ahead with our plan. They come to visit once or twice a year for a week or so. His mother was an educator for many years and I respect her opinion.

Since my first daughter was born, I have been reading and researching education and picking what I feel is best for her and for our family. I have made PROS/CONS lists, talked with doctors, teachers, family members, and friends to help gather information to make these decisions. I know that most of my friends that are parents have done the same.

As I said, I respect my husband's parents' opinions, and I discussed my options with them openly. There was a lot of current information about Kindergarten that they were not aware of. I sent them articles and other research to support our choices. They were very supportive after I did so. However, for me, it was uncomfortable to feel that I had to defend myself. I am a confident person and mother, but support from our families is incredibly important. I would have appreciated it if they had seemed more confident in me and less concerned about my children's education. In all honesty, I believe that worrying about our daughters' education is my job, and supporting my choices is their grandparents' job.

It is fine to lightly suggest your own PROS/CONS list and then make it clear that you completely and unconditionally support your children's choices.

As for my daughter, we did go to Kindergarten for the first three weeks to see if she would "love" it. It was not a good fit for her, and she really wanted to do another year of preschool. Our public school's Kindergarten is very different from the Kindergarten I went to 30 years ago. It is much more like 1st grade was. The day is very long, 5 hours. 1.5 of the hours are spent sitting and listening to the teacher. The rest of the day is very structured with a little bit of free-play time. Outdoor time was limited to about 20 minutes and no running was allowed outside. My daughters are very close, and I had a hard time justifying splitting them up for the majority of they day. Actually, we are all very close, and I would love to spend another year with her before I send her off to school for the next 16 years or so.

I have signed my daughter up for a homeschooling program that has an online curriculum and a lot of community support as well as enrolling her in preschool three days per week. I think that she will get more social interaction in the preschool than she would in Kindergarten given the structure of the program. She will also continue to develop her other skills as we follow the Kindergarten curriculum together at home (or at the park or beach).

Even if you can't agree with your child's decision about your grandson's education, try to set that aside and focus on the positive results. My parents are very happy with my choice because they come to visit us twice a week. They are happy that our oldest will be home for one more year to visit with them all day. Spending time with siblings is valuable. Spending time with Mom is wonderful. Having time to play and explore is fantastic.

[tina474]

I think homeschooling in this day and age is an exciting opportunity for our children. Yes, while socializing is a concern, it is up to the parent to offer outside activities with other children. This is very challenging I must say. I tried homeschooling via a Charter school through the K12 program with my 2 boys. One is in 9th while the other in 6th grade. I LOVE the program but it's not for everyone. In my opinion it's more advanced than traditional public schools. No question. At the end of the day I knew what my kids were learning. It teaches them responsibility and accountability. There is no "I forgot my homework." It was a difficult transition though with being in a public school setting all their life. I do have a 3 year old daughter who I am still contemplating homeschooling her. All I know is having older children (teens), socializing with the group of kids they come in contact with in public schools is not always the "best" option. Homeschooling allows the parents more control over their social setting. Homeschooling takes a lot of effort and commitment on the parents behalf. Maybe grandma can include herself in the teachings of her grandson and make it a family activity. I'm sure the parents would appreciate the help! :) I admire parents who have the patience to homeschool. It surely is not the easier of the two choices.

[mandy2238]

He can have social activities outside of homeschool like an athletic group or the like. I personally believe kids learn socialization from adults. In my long teaching experience, social kids are social and not so social kids are not so social no matter who they hang out with. As they age, you hope that less social kids find their counterparts, as in , there is someone for everyone. They also have the option of private kindergarten which could be flexible with hours and days, like Montessori. I don't think kindergarten academics or socialization matter at all. Also, kids don't tend to form lasting friendships until about age 9, especially boys who lag in this area. Good luck!

[Wondergirl]

I don't think kindergarten academics or socialization matter at all.

I beg to differ. My preschool and kindergarten students learned how to play together, how to share, how to be polite, how to help each other with tasks, how to speak correctly with good English, how to defer to authority, and honed many other socialization skills. As far as academics go, kindergarten is now like first grade (and even second grade) used to be.

[evansk94]

I highly doubt the parents were homeschooling him to avoid the "hassle" of taking him to school. You guys came up with that on your own. And sorry, you're his grandmother, it is none of your business how they choose to raise their own child. Maybe they do have a good reason! Regardless, it is none of your business.

Homeschooling in these times can be a GREAT education. My child was homeschooled until second grade because we knew we would have to move at some point and didn't want him to get attached to anyone and then move him away from them. Firstly, he is now the top of his class! Second, at the end of each day, we took him, for two hours, to a day care, where he was socialized. He didn't go often enough to make strong friendships, but to where he was comfortable entering a school setting.

Also, if your child has problems listening to other adults, besides you, that's your fault. Not his lack of public education.

[jamiekay77]

I just have to say REALLY?? Cut the cord! Are you serious! Do you know the advantages of homeschooling? Its not about cutting the cord its about education! That's if the parents are dedicated and motivated to give there child a strong education. My daughter skipped Kindergarten and we started homeschooling 1st grade, and then tried an online one for 2nd grade she moved to quickly she completed all of 2nd grade by February and compelte 52 percent of 3rd grade by the end of the year. If she stayed with them she would be doing 4th grade work now and she is 7 she will be 8 at the end of the month.

I will tell you we looked into a christian school because the public school was terrible it got a terrible grade and is raided for drugs about every 3 weeks not where I would chose for my child, the christian school was OK, pricy but it wasn't what we believed and it didn't seem right. Also she went to preschool 3 days a week for 2 hours and 25 minutes. She would take a nap in the afternoon. Now how could she all of sudden (as you put cut the cord) go 5 days a week from 7:05 a. if she rode the bus till 4:15 p.m she would have been exhausted!

Now those are why we chose not tp put her in, now what was the concerns socialization, she was an early talker, she spoke clear and consice people were surprised with her calmness, her motivated attitude to learn, she wrote her name before she was 3 and was reading before preschool was over. She was in church twice a week and dance for an hour a week. In the spring she was in tball she had a lot of friends. Now we are in 3rd grade she took the Ohio academic Achievement test he scored very high in reading she is in a 5th grade reading level. She tested against the best testing school in this area we have since moved districts since we began homeschooling. I teach independence, critical thinking something that is not taught in public schools at least around here. Every morning she gets her list and does things she can do independently with out being told. Every Wednesday she teaches at a local preschool and reads to the 3 and 4 year olds and plays matching games, this is a great way to learn a lot of people skills and boosts the confidence. She would not learn in a school. She played soccer this year, softball, cheerleading, gymnastics and church. She is starting American heritage girls, of course not all at the same time!The difference between a public school and homeschooled child is a public school child knows how to interact with the same aged child a homeschool is surrounded by different ages and can interact socially with different aged children.

There is a huge reason why Universities such as Duke, Harvard and Mit activley search out homeschooled children. Its not at all about cutting the cord, homeschooling parents are dedicated to education to give their child the best they can. Sometimes that is not in a public school.

[jamiekay77]

I beg to differ. My preschool and kindergarten students learned how to play together, how to share, how to be polite, how to help each other with tasks, how to speak correctly with good English, how to defer to authority, and honed many other socialization skills. As far as academics go, kindergarten is now like first grade (and even second grade) used to be.

Wow your kindergarten must be differnet then Ohio! I have seen some papers the kindergarteners bring home it's the same thing my 3 year old has been doing in preschool! Tracing letters and numbers now they are just starting to writ numbers to 40 my preschooler can write any 2 numbers together. They have to know how to count to 50 without stopping! My preschooler just achieved countiing to 100 it was a proud day! I am very disappointed with what I see my children would be so bored!

[LandK]

It's their child. You had your choice on what to do with your children. My children go to public school, but I think if done correctly homeschool is a great choice for some families. As for socialization, there are so many healthier ways to socialize children than a classroom full of children only their age who may or may not be a good influence, etc. I say let them do what they feel is right and stay out of it.

[Rickeysdoll]

There is a lot of negative comments about homeschooling. I am homeschooling my daughter for kindergarten and first grade. My reasons are quite different-we're a military family and due to deployment and pending orders it's just best for her to be able to focus solely on learning to read and write, etc then to have to adjust to 3 or 4 different schools. I did a tremendous amount of research before starting and homeschooling can be incredibly beneficial for the children. But by far the best quote I ran across was this-- we socialize our dogs. We educate our children. There are many opportunities for children to "socialize" outside of a school setting. And as just a request- can the grown ups express their opinions without slinging insults. I think we're taught in uh... kindergarten that it isn't nice to call someone dumb or lazy...

[lizzie547]

My son starts kindergarten next year. I plan on homeschooling him for the long run. I have personal reason's for this. My family doesn't seem to agree with me but in the end I am my son's parent not them. Why do they only want to homeschool your grandson till grade 1?