[Arzy99]

Just wanted to have a little rant/vent... helps with the healing I guess!. (NOTE - PLEASE READ MY PREVIOUS QUESTION FOR ANY BACKGROUND INFO :))

Well, when I was reading over my previous post and I just kept thinking, after EVERYTHING I had done for my ex - always there for her when she needed me, treated her like a princess, would have done anything for her, surprised her with little gifts etc when we went out, was always the gentleman, did SO much for her on her b'day, trusted her with the most private parts of my life, introduced her to the most important people in my life (my family.. especially my mother) and carried her through the time when she was heartbroken when we were just friends... Its just a shame that she kind of threw all that back in my face and then made me go through the same heartache she went through.. the same heartache I helped her get through!.

I understand that some of it was my fault since maybe I gave too much and was too nice in the relationship and made her MY life (because I fell so deeply for her)... and I have learnt from it. I have learnt to make sure the relationship is always 50/50, not to give EVERYTHING to a girl - because the relationship should be equal, Ive learnt to have MY OWN life and own individuality without anyone, I have learnt that I should love myself more than anyone and put that first etc... I have learnt all these things so I do understand what I did wrong in the relationship - and for my next relationship I will be different because I will make sure it is more fair and more equal, I won't be the one giving all the time. But at the same time I will still be sweet and nice.

BUT.. Am I right in thinking and saying that, she doesn't really deserve me!
She told me all these affectionate, loving things.. then as soon as she got to university for some reason (that I will never probably know, there could be 100 reasons) she 'felt uncomfortable in a relationship & wanted to be single etc'. THEN, only a few weeks after leaving me, she was out with another guy and getting close to him.

She doesn't deserve someone who was selfless, who truly loved her and wanted nothing but to be with her... she doesn't deserve me, right?
Because, all she did was lead me on (without realising it) and then left me as soon as she got to university (because she decided living a single university life was what she wanted more than having a loving, caring boyfriend) - then to rub salt into the wound she started liking another guy soon after!
Her actions proved that all of the affectionate things she once said was a bunch of crap that she didn't really mean, her actions proved that she Didn't TRULY LOVE ME the same way I loved her...

So, am I right in saying - she doesn't really deserve a guy like me!. plainly because, after everything I did for her... her actions proved she didn't truly love me, and I can't be with someone that doesn't love me...

Just wanted to vent for a bit lol... thanks people, I'm doing well by the way... 1 month and 4 days of NC :D

[Romefalls19]

Nope she doesn't deserve you. You deserve someone who is going to love and respect you the way that you love and respect them. Trust me, you will find it, and more than likely when you least expect it as well.

[ja77]

Just wanted to vent for a bit lol... thanks people, I'm doing well by the way... 1 month and 4 days of NC

Good for you - stay strong and keep up the good work you have done already -

[kctiger]

You are right, but it is also important to note that she isn't wrong. It just wasn't meant to be, and hey, that is what life is about. Relationships are about sharing yourself with someone else, and not giving more than you are receiving. You deserve someone who loves you just as much as you love them... it is about complementing one another, not completing each other. You will find it, and, like Rome said, most likely when you would least expect it. Until then, enjoy YOU... always enjoy YOU!

[Arzy99]

Yes... I agree!
I am not angry with her... I am past that stage now, I have no hard feelings at all.. I am still hurt that she led me on unintentionally and then soon after got with another guy... but I am past the anger stage, I actually forgive her because what I can take from it is that her actions showed clearly that there was an UNEQUAL amount of love and respect given to me by her... She didn't love me the same way I love her, and that obviously means it wasn't meant to be for us...
Im not angry with her anymore, I feel more acceptance and realisation of the fact that she didn't truly love me, and I Don't deserve that... I deserve to be loved the same way I love my partner and to be treated the same way I treat others...