[Unicorn2014]

I've been dating this amazing guy for the past couple months and I've never been Happier in my life. Then he finds out yesterday that he got accepted at a college he was waitlisted at on the other side of the country. Of course he said yes and is going but I don't know how to feel... I told him I'm so happy for him! And congrats. Since We haven't been dating that long we both kind of mutually understand it won't work out. If he wasn't moving in a month for college things would be different. We did make each other laugh. I feel so rejected for some reason,. I'm I doing the right thing by letting him go with out much of a fight.. He's not to broken up about it.. . he said he is sorry though because he said he really does like me and he never thought this would happen. What should I do? Continue being supportive and okay with his choices to leave and break up, or should I put myself out there?

[tickle]

What is wrong with continuing the relationship, on a different level of course, at a slight distance? It has been done before. Do you work or go to school?

Continue being supportive. Him going off is not the end of the world.

[smoothy]

I'm guessing you are late teens... people go through huge changes from that period into their early 20's. Odds are you will drift apart even without the physical distance.

Let him go and look for someone else now. People move around for work or school all the time... they always find new friends wherever they go...

Speaking as someone who has liven in three states in the USA and having moved numerous times a significant distance, as well as moving to Europe and back, not just once, but twice.

[Unicorn2014]

We are both in our mid twenties. He's going for a masters program in Seattle for the next three years. Right now we are living in NC. I'm in college for my B.S in NC for the next year at least. He want to end it because we met online and we've only known each other 3 months and been dating two of them. We have a great chemistry but logically its not there for him to continue to date me. I'm more invested then he is because this is first choice college and getting this degree will mean he gets his dream job too. I really am happy for him. I won't want him to stay because he has said in the past he feels like he stagnant here. NC kind of sucks. I'd want to move off to Seattle too.. Also before him I was in 3 year verbally abusive relationship and dating him for the past few months has been sooooooooo wonderful. I think myself esteem really hurts for the previous relationship and he was making me feel so much better about myself and my ability to be in a healthy and happy relationship. He only wants to stay friends. He has too much going on in his life right now for a girlfriend. He said he really does like me though and if thing were different etc. He wants to stay friends, he want me to come visit Seattle but he doesn't want to date currently because he just has so much going on. I'm not selfish or crazy I understand he needs to leave but I can't believe he is moving in one month. I"m nervous he might of been the best thing to happen to me in along time and it was so short lived. I'm also nervous he is going to move to Seattle and meet another girl and forget me... But I can't make him want to be in a relationship with me. I trying so hard to be supportive and I"m so positive when I talk to him. He keeps telling me how amazing I am for being so supportive and understanding. Do you really think it'll eventually be okay? It's really hard going from a relationship that for years I heard how useless I was etc to being in this relationship where David actually makes me feel loved and beautiful and in a month that will be all over...

[smoothy]

Well, you have only dated a few months... so you really barely know him yet... you are still riding the wave of the new relationship excitement... and its nothing to base a future on yet.

Breaking up is never easy... but it does get easier the more you've been through it. And time WILL heal the hurt.

You will be OK, bu its going to hurt like hell at first... adn the worst thing you can do is keep clinging on to a memory. He's going to be gone a significant time compared to all the longer you have been together.

Every now person that makes it past the first few dates seems like the best thing that's ever happened to you... and they very well might be if you've learned lessons from previous relationships like most of us. I would view this differently if you had been together 3 years or even 30 years. Three years on the other side of the nation is a significant separation... and it's a significant period.

I personaly give the odds of a long distance relationship working in this case as being very low. THey take a lot of effort... and take a lot of energy to maintain... something he is going to be in short supply of... you would also be competing with ALL the women there that are local to him and available... and most importantly right there.

THe longer you cling on to hope... he harder its going to be... and since you really barely know each other after only 3 months... you would be spending a LOT of time inventing things that you don't know to fill in the gaps that odds on will be wrong. That would doom things in the future when reality doesn't match up with the fantasy if that makes any sense.

Best thing I personally think you could do. I move on... keep the good memories, and remember there are plenty of people out there who like him... aren't abusive.

I also say move on now... is because the older you get, the fewer unmarried choices you have... and the pool of people who got married young, and made poor decisions are who you are left with, along with all their baggage. Those who were the best candidates will be maried off and until they end up widowed or divorced after a long time won't be on the market for many, many years.

A lot of us have walked away from relationships for reasons beyond out control... other than breaking up due to differences.

If you move on ASAP... I honestly believe years from now you will be looking back agreeing with me. But you are going to have a rough patch to go through at first.

[talaniman]

You can keep in touch and pursue your futures apart. Many relationships get interrupted or changed by the realities of life and different priorities of the dating partners. Enjoy it while it lasts if you can't decide how to keep in touch. The good news is you can discuss it and decide what happens next.

See if he is willing to stay in touch without putting yourself too far out there.