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Karinmay · Jul 21, 2012, 08:08 PM

My mom had me (2lbs 13 oz ) two months early out of wedlock.. My father left at 20 days old... I had a great step dad but when I married at 18, this was the first time I found out he wasn't my Dad.. He died 5 years later and 2 years later my Bio Dad entered my life with a knock on the door.

Mom always compared me to him but never sat down and talked of him.. Hatred was obvious. She would say she's just like her dad to others in the family... Later when she found out I knew him.. She was relentless saying she would "PUT DISTANCE" between me and my stepbrothers, and she has..

My brother closest to me denies he even knows me.. I am 64 years old and he is 63 the 1st born to my step-dad.. Now he is turning my other brother aged 61 against me.. I am heartsick about all this but am NOT prepared to take this any longer.. Mom isn't well but well enough not to give me a key though I am her main caregiver.. Also all her financial business is taken care of by the 1st step-brother..

There is more but that's mainly it.

Can You Help Me.. Karin

talaniman · Jul 21, 2012, 10:33 PM

I doubt they hate you but resent you befriending the guy that hurt their mother so many years ago, and maybe resent you tarnishing,or seeming disloyalagainst the memory of their dad.

Maybe its best to keep your relationship with your dad away from your family. Sorry it turned out so bad. You have not been trying to reconcile their old differences have you?

Karinmay · Jul 22, 2012, 09:55 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

I doubt they hate you but resent you befriending the guy that hurt their mother so many years ago, and maybe resent you tarnishing,or seeming disloyalagainst the memory of their dad.

Maybe its best to keep your relationship with your dad away from your family. Sorry it turned out so bad. You have not been trying to reconcile their old differences have you?

My bio father is no longer alive and this stuff is still going on

talaniman · Jul 22, 2012, 11:16 AM

When people, even loved ones are unreasonable, then you separate yourself from them and let them wallow in their own issues. Especially when they exhibit bad behavior. Yes its sad, but confrontation seldom changes bad behavior so just stop accepting it from any of them.

I know you didn't asked to be born, NONE of us does! We don't choose our families, but as an adult we choose how we deal with them. What do they say about their own attitudes, and behaviors?

Karinmay · Jul 22, 2012, 11:58 AM

They say nothing about their own attitudes and behaviours except they find it really easy to put me down all the time.. Whisper to each other in my presence and talk / lie behind my back.. My Mom even stayed with me a long time and when my brother arrived in town left without any notice.. She did not pay rent.but courtesy would mean a day or twos notice.. My cousin who is very close to her is angry about as is her sister, my cousin who is my age.. We are all cousins and they feel it is unjust.. As well two of my other cousins agree.. My question is how could she hate one person so much she wants to put it on to me and wreck the relationship I once had with my step brothers... I know ephesians 6.4 says fathers do not anger your children.. So what is her purpose..