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DirectionWest · May 13, 2014, 01:37 AM

Okay this is a real mess for me. I may have 0% scope in this but still need to know. I have craze of being a part of a band, a band that's into Rock, Metal, Nu Metal etc. Now the issue is that I need some time for practice and getting rid of my stage fear. Also I live in a country where such genre of music is not much into being. So 1stly I need to get out of here. Also I don't get how I shall join one being a girl myself. I don't even want to join a complete girl band. Becomes too girly - not my type. Urrgh. The sad part I don't think there aren't any bands consisting of girls that's into Rock & Metal genre, actually it's not considered out type. I wish I wasn't a girl. Well, I will be able to get training for my vocals but what after that ? How do I start and where do I start ? Or should I forget it all. It's going to be so hard letting this go since I'm wanting to do such stuff since 8th grade but got no time since I'v always been in bounded by school hostels then same has been with college life. Now when I'm planning to take a year or 2 off I'm not able to figure out any damn thing. People I need some suggestion and guidance.

Fr_Chuck · May 13, 2014, 06:05 AM

You can start a band anywhere, by talking to people you know, finding others who play and like same type of music.

To get into an establihed band, they will advertise often in music publications and hold try outs for people to perform.

You will need to practice a lot. Most musicians will play several hours a day.

You are good at making ecuses, as to why you can't, but you can if you put your mind into it.

Cat1864 · May 13, 2014, 07:20 AM

What happened to the dream of dancing (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dance/...re-785632.html ?)

From reading both threads, I am not certain you are as dedicated to your 'dreams' as you want to believe you are. You seem to put a lot of thought into what you want to do but little action to put them into practice. Am I wrong in this perception?

You mention working on your vocals but you don't mention playing an instrument. Do you play?

Is your dream of being in a band for the love of music or the fame you think would come from it?

smoothy · May 13, 2014, 09:03 AM

If one person with a dream of singing or dancing in 100,000 makes a living from it. That's a lot. And most of those worked YEARS to get there.

talaniman · May 13, 2014, 09:15 AM

Maybe some research into what your dreams will entail and need can offer you a realistic path, but in the meantime you still have to support yourself, and your life. You are in a learning period, and must adjust to the facts of reality.

Dreams often take many years to bear fruit, and often a good plan B is needed until they do. They can also change as you get older.

DirectionWest · May 14, 2014, 10:11 PM

The thing is I have got my major interest in 3 fields, which I guess I should have mentioned before. Photography, Singing and dancing. It's nothing like I'm not dedicated, I'm just looking for one area to begin with.

Wondergirl · May 15, 2014, 07:56 AM

My younger son firmly believed he would become a famous writer once he completed his college degree in Creative Writing. He graduated and bingo bango! did NOT become a famous writer (even though his interest was great and he is a good writer) - and found out he still had to eat and have a roof over his head. That meant he had to find a job and WORK for a living. It runs out that, over the years, he has found other interests and hobbies, although he still likes to write, but for fun, not for profit.

So my advice to you is what you've already been told -- learn a trade or find work that you enjoy an that will pay the bills. Then spend time with your hobbies.along the way.

talaniman · May 15, 2014, 09:05 AM

Begin with what feeds you while you pursue your interests. If you have many interests then decide which should be the highest priority for you.

DirectionWest · May 16, 2014, 06:46 AM

I guess I just need to give up on it. Already I can't find a way.. -_-

talaniman · May 16, 2014, 06:53 AM

Never give up your dreams, just learn to put them on a shelf while you deal with reality. Never know when the opportunity will come and you can pursue that dream again and make it come true. Your problem is you have many dreams and don't know how to follow them... YET! LOL, I feel for you, as we all go through that, and those dreams keep coming, and keep changing on us.

Nothing wrong with dreams, but deal with reality. Like I said, you never know how things will work out.

DirectionWest · May 16, 2014, 10:54 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Never give up your dreams, just learn to put them on a shelf while you deal with reality. Never know when the opportunity will come and you can pursue that dream again and make it come true. Your problem is you have many dreams and don't know how to follow them... YET! LOL, I feel for you, as we all go through that, and those dreams keep coming, and keep changing on us. Nothing wrong with dreams, but deal with reality. Like I said, you never know how things will work out.

This one I have since I was in 8th grade... All the other dreams keep coming and going but not this...