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lisa1102 · Oct 11, 2019, 09:33 AM

First this is not about me.. It is about my cousin who lives in another country. W are close and talk all the time. He final admitted to me that his wife is not very nice to him. She has hit him several times and took a knife out once and tried to attack him. She is also always saying that if she went back in time she would not have married him. She has made him feel so bad and insecure,,, How can I help him he is such a nice guy and I know him.. He does not deserve this.. I want to tell him to leave her.. he has kids and is worried about leaving the kids.. She never attacked him in front of the kids and he said she treats the kids ok. What advice should I tell him help

talaniman · Oct 11, 2019, 10:24 AM

Divorce the beetch and pay child support and be a good father by making sure he gets good visitations. For YOU now, be a good listener until he has had enough abuse to do something about it, and only offer advice if he ask for it. Agree he is being abused. This will give him some comfort. You may want to save him from his own actions but you cannot, just love and support him until he can do better for himself.

You could suggest couples counseling, because seldom is one party in a marriage completely at fault. Her side is unknown to you, and could shock you. You are biased because he is your cousin whom you love, and may be only telling you his side the way he sees it but violence is a big red flag that someone needs to LEAVE, and hopefully get help.

Maybe they both need help, which is likely.

lisa1102 · Oct 11, 2019, 10:30 AM

Hi thank you for your answer no I for sure know he is not at fault and it is to long to explain.. Also one thing I forgot that he told me she went to the gym one time and he thinks she cheated on him.. How does he think she cheated on him..There are guys at the gym that look at him different every since she went to the gym..and a couple of other things..

talaniman · Oct 11, 2019, 10:39 AM

None of this is evidence of cheating mind you, but more of a suspicious mind in light of the state of the marriage. The abuse is quite enough to leave, since he doesn't have the courage to call a cop, and start a paper trail as maybe she is just a violent loon that doesn't know she needs help. I cannot judge that part, but it is HE that must take some actions to deal with this situation between him and his wife.

mary1001 · Oct 12, 2019, 10:02 AM

Thank you!! You give good advise and will follow it.