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olenatichenor · Sep 25, 2007, 08:45 AM

Hello,
I need help figuring out how to deal with my problem. Please, anybody.
I live with my boyfriend and he gave me cat as a surprise gift two months ago. He always disliked cat,s but he knew I love them and I was going to get one later anyway.
So, he decided to get me one. The kitty is wonderful, but, of course, while playing he gets on furniture and damages some things (minor damage). I am trying to teach him, he learns slowly. My boyfriend doesn't get it, he is angry at a cat, can't stand him, since the cat is on his furniture.
I ask him to give it time, the cat needs time to learn, I want to put the double sided tape on the chairs to prevent the cat from jumping on them. My boyfriend says that he doesn't want to change his house and lifestyle because of the cat, he doesn't give him or me a break at all. He doesn't want to try, he has a set dislike towards the cats and he doesn't want to compromise.
We also have a yellow lab, he gets along well with the kitty. The cat wants to play with the dog all the time, he likes the doggy!! My boyfriend says that cat attacks the dog and it bothers him. Seriously, how much damage can a kitty do? He doesn't scratch anything ( rarely, very rarely), he rarely gets on things, sometimes he likes to jump on the coach, but what's the harm, if he does't leave hair on it or scratch it? I tried to explain it to my boyfriend, but I don't seem to get through. Any advice?

katieperez · Sep 25, 2007, 09:11 AM

Oh this is a sticky situation indeed. Has he ever had cats before? I've had cats and dogs all my life and I must say, it's easy to keep dogs off furniture, but more difficult for cats. It can be done, it is tough though. If you haven't already got one, get a scratching post and if you're not going to declaw the cat, trimming it's nails once a month helps greatly. That should keep the damage at bay. Regular grooming should help with the cat hair as well. Check out this link for some good tips on how to keep shedding to a minimum.

How to Stop Cat Shedding: 6 Easy Ways to Control Cat Shedding

As for the cat and dog, I think it's great that the cat instigates play! How old is your lab? Keep in mind also, the kitty is still so young and full of spunk. As he gets older, he'll get lazier and less vivacious. Here's a link to give you some ideas for interactive cat toys. Maybe try to introduce the idea of your boyfriend actually playing with the kitty.

Interactive Cat Toys

Discuss these points with your boyfriend and let him know your concerns. He may not ever come around to enjoying the cat, but he may learn to accept him. Who knows, maybe he'll warm up. It sounds like he's just being a little stubborn. After all, he is the one who got you the kitty in the first place. He obviously was willing at the time to put aside his dislike for cats, so try to be patient with him and help him cope with the new member. Best of luck!

olenatichenor · Sep 25, 2007, 10:24 AM

Thanks,
I am going to go through those links today to see what else I can do.
But the cat has two condos, multilevel, a gym, a couple of scratching posts, tons of toys, he eats organic food and gets vitamins. I have not seen him shedding at all, he doesn't try to scratch things, only by mistake. The damage he causes is objects falling when he jumps onto furniture ( which is only two things- a couch and a chair), he never tries to get anywhere else.
I will talk to my boyfriend tonight to see how we can resolve it, since we are planning on living together in the future.
Thanks again for your help, I apreciate it.

cerisa · Sep 25, 2007, 02:59 PM

OOOH, don't wait until the cat 'runs away' if you love your boyfriend, find a home for kitty. If you love the cat more... you get the idea

katieperez · Sep 25, 2007, 03:18 PM

cerisa- c'mon now, I'm sure it won't hurt for two responsible adults to find common ground over a cat. He brought it home after all. I'm willing to bet this can be resolved without rehoming cat or boyfriend. Check out this funny picture that reminded me of this situation:D

cerisa · Sep 25, 2007, 03:32 PM

Ha ha! Of course I was kidding about the boyfriend Seriously though, some people hate cats. Not me, I love them.

olenatichenor · Sep 26, 2007, 05:53 AM

Lol, I like the ad.:)
I am not giving up on the cat, ever!! It was a "surprise" gift that I knew of, I asked him to go to a high kill shelter 2 hours away from our place to adopt one, so more kitties there will have a chance.
I talked to my boyfriend last night, I told him that there is no way the cat will go and that we have to resolve it. It was a Looooong conversation at the end of which he said: " i love you so much and i want you to be happy, so if a cat on the coach makes you happier, than go for it". We decided that the cat will be allowed on one coach in the house, the one in TV room, where we usually hang out. It made me feel relieved, sine the cat doesn't really want to sit on the coach, he gets on and then leaves within 5 minutes.
I had to take a late class last night after work, so when he picked me up he brought the cat and the dog in the car to meet "mommy" after a long day. Isn't that sweet?:):):):)
Thank you all for the advices, they really did help.

katieperez · Sep 26, 2007, 06:47 AM

I'm really glad to hear that! He seems like a really great guy since he's willing to find a way to make it work with the kitty. I'm also glad the kitty was rescued. That was really good of you. Thanks for the update!

mariac0916 · Sep 26, 2007, 08:09 AM

I have had many cats in my time, the best way to teach them not to jump on your sofa, or etc. is to lightly spray them with a water bottle every time they do it so they break out of the behavior. Also, is your cat fixed, you may want to consider this as well since male cats can be strong willed if they are not fixed. See if you can compromise and give it time. Pets become our children and need some time to break out of bad habits just like children/adults.:o