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Wow, your ex sounds like a prick. Forget him completely, I know eight years must be a very long time, but you have to. Don't look back sweetheart, cause you already know that path causes nothing but pain. I agree with everyone, that you must get your life on track. Focus on your studies and career to better yourself. He doesn't deserve you and you might not realize it yet, but it's true. |
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Binx, We "know" each other. I know too that if you are a Forestry student, you are tougher than average. Grit your teeth and make this happen. In YOUR mind, and in HIS ear, tell him to go to hell, and move on. Take the test, as you are better prepared for it now. Study and then take it. Do you have some friends, or professors, that you can talk to? Try to find someone to take you in for a couple of weeks. I know that this seems like the end of the world for you right now, but it's not. Things will get better for you. If you have to take a break from school for now, do it. I think that you should call your mother and let her know what's going on. She may have some good ideas. The last thing you need to do right now is give up, or listen to the liar. There is someone out there right now that will help you. Think of who it is. I have prayed for you and will again later with my children at bedtime. You are stronger than you think you are. God bless you. |
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Mom has already said she can't afford to help me.. college here is eight hours a day plus a huge amount of assignments... that's why I wouldn't be able to pull off working at the same time. The student loan is from the government.. the bank said I need a co-signer... next year as in next September not January sadly... for summer I have to do a 10 week practicum so I will be working but it will be to cover tuition... I know I won't earn 11,000 in 10 weeks but all I earn is going to have to go to tuition.. I don't know where I'm living and work will have to be in whatever area I will be residing in as I do not have a vehicle any more either. Right now I have 1700 dollars in the bank.. but january's tuition is 5000 so I'm short. Plus I was trying to quit smoking, been so stressed I have giving up on that... Thank you tal... I know you all are wonderful people and are giving awesome advice.. I just feel so lost and confused. I wish I had some people who could help me.. financially but I don't know of anyone just yet and am still looking. Krim, I wish I had seen the truth sooner... I've been having problems on and off with him for years but didn't see what was really happening. Jm... tougher than I think? I don't feel too tough.. sure I can fly through the woods looking at a map and compass, sure I can grit my teeth in the freezing cold and still fill out regeneration surveys but why do I not feel like I can do this? I'm worried if I take a break I won't come back... I'd like to finish this year at least... it's a two year course and my first year will end in April so its not that far from now. I just don't feel strong enough to keep going right now. I'm trying my hardest even though I'm still crying on the inside all the time... I apprechate the prayers.. and I apprechate what all of you are doing for me... even though we are online I feel like you all are good friend. Many of you have heard my problems before.. heck knows I've had quite a few with him.. I just wish I didn't love him like I do... I love him.. and hate him all in one breath... hate for hurting me, lying to me, keeping secrets, but love for the man he was at one point in time. Which I feel he will never be again... the cheating set me on edge... I never expected it.. not with my own friends either. I know I can get through this eventually its just going to be very very hard... |
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So sorry to hear about the rough time you're having, but I really think you've got a lot of strength and will get through this just fine. Firstly, don't panic. Breath deep and be thankful that you found out that your boyfriend is a sleaze-ball before you married him. Better finding out after dating 8 years than after being married 20 years. Your friends are certainly not real friends or they wouldn't be sleeping with your guy.
You can't remain friends with him - you have to break away completely and have no contact with him, even if it means changing the crowd you run around with. If you don't you break away completely you will never heal. Concentrate on yourself and on completing your education. I wish I could tell you what to do about your financial problems, but I'm not familiar with the way college loans/grants/etc. work. -------------------------------------------- Some people think that it's holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it's letting go. |
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 Originally Posted by binx44
First you don't have to talk to him to tell him how you feel. Did he run it by you when he decided to sleep with your friends to see how you would feel about it? Hmm... doesnt sound it. He will know your feelings on him when he decides to call you and you don't answer his call. When you don't pick up the phone, read the text, scan over the emails or whatever other way he will try to reach you. When you put the block on for him 100% he will then know how you feel. If you talk to him you will melt, you will cry. Don't give him the satisfaction of seeing you this way. Stand tall and walk away and don't look back. That will bug him more. Leave him to your friends and move on. You will be the better person in the end if you just put a stop to it all now and never look back. As far as your home and tuition, you will find a way. Everything works out in the end. I say its about time you make it on your own anyway. Your 23 and have been with him since you were 15? Is that what I am reading? Good. Time for you to learn about... YOU. I have a feeling your life has spun around this other person. You have gone through puberty with him and you just never developed in to the person you were meant to be. Now is your chance. One step at a time. You can do anything if you put your mind to it. Just remember that. |
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Originally Posted by binx44
Who cares at this point what his family has for you. If you were to see his mother I see it as equally painful as seeing him. Sometimes when you lose a relationship you do lose so much more. You will lose that extended family to an extent. Learn to deal with that now and learn to stand at a distance with them. If his mom truly in her heart wants you to have those things then she can mail them. If she can't understand your pain at this point the problem is hers not yours. |
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There is always a possibility to get out of your situation. Why does the bank need a co-signer? In that case ask for your mom or a friend of yours or even a teacher, it's not hard to ask for help. Secondly, go see several banks, not just one, it is really not that hard to get a loan or even a credit card. |
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Binx,if there's one thing I know its hta there is always a way... always.
You just have not come up with it yet.. So nows a good time to brain storm.. yes.. YES! I'm going to go and see what I can dig up,stay online and wait for someone to come,ill be back. Department of Education - Student Assistance Nova Scotia Student Loans Program http://www.mystfx.ca/services/financ...treduction.pdf NEADS - Financial Aid Directory How about these? Have a look and see what you think. |
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Redhead.. thank you sooo very much I apprechate all you've done. I'll take a look at those... Its my birthday today so I'll be busy (even amhd sent me birthday wishes:) ) but I'm going to make some time to sit and look through them *hugs* you all are so wonderful to me I'm glad I found this site. |
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Happy birthday Binx! I hope things are getting better for you. Give yourself a big ol' hug from all of us here. Let us know how the new year treats you. Remember that this will get a lot better, and will make you stronger for the trouble. I'm praying for you. You should take a long walk where you can reflect. Like in the forest. Where better for a Forester to make sense of things? Take your Suunto. |
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