[worriedmom82]

My fiancé and I have a long distance relationship. He has 2 kids 12 and 5. They live with their mom and she is remarried. He is wanting to move here with me, but our resevation is that is will have a negative affect on the kids. He wants to be a part of their life and so do I. We want what is best for them. Moving is a bid decision and is practically a make or break our relationship situation for us. I have a 2 year old and all of my family lives near me. He on the otherhand has no family other than the kids where he lives. Due to his job he does travel lots and is not home that much. We are at a loss as to what to do about it. Our relationship is strong but we have to decide if moving is something that his kids can deal with. We of course would do everything we could to see the kids when we could. I want to support him in any decision that he does make. Please help

[talaniman]

This will take an awful lot of thought, before any action are taken as blending a family, is not something to just do, and hope for the best, as there are to many situations you will be in, depending on visitation, his work schedule, how you get along with his kids, the list of things to work thru is almost endless.

Start writing these things down, and keep adding to the list, as what your doing will take more than a strong relationship, but understanding and co operation from all involved.

Do you even know how his kids will feel about being with you, and your child, when dad is at work? How you would feel??

No hurry, just do your homework on this first.

[Fr_Chuck]

So would you want to leave your child with your mom and move off.

You should not ask him to move away from his children, but again this issue should have been though about when you first started dating.

He will learn to resent not seeing his child on a regular basis.