[imkarmo]

I was married for 22 years when I divorced. I remarried after 1 year, and my adult children hate me for that. I gave up along time ago, I couldn't stand all the hateful things they were saying.

So much time has passed but I would like to have a relationship with my daughter 36 yrs and son 39 yrs. I have spoken with my daughter a couple of times but she says she hates me for ruining her life when I left. I live in AZ and she is in MN. I am lost and I don't know what to do.

I have 3 grandchildren that I have never met. Is there anything I can do to to re establish a relationship with my kids?

[JudyKayTee]

What have you done in the past 18 years to try to rectify the hurt feelings, the bad feelings toward your new husband?

I think that's a starting point.

If you've done nothing, well, it's probably too late. Life has gone on without you, and that's the sad but true fact.

Did you leave your husband for your second husband? Is that the problem? Did you leave the children with their father and walk away?

Lots of people get divorced without this kind of drama. What specifically is your children's problem?

[joypulv]

If you have been divorced for 18 years and your children are 36 and 39, then they were 18 and 21 at the time! What business was it of theirs? Were they still living at home, or in college and you and their father couldn't continue to pay? Did the house get sold and they were out in the cold? Or what? I don't get it. Not being nosy, just trying to figure out how grown children could hate a parent this much and for this long.

[talaniman]

If you have not broken the walls down in 18 years then I doubt things will change unless your kids want to change.

Doesn't look like that's happening so no, I see nothing you can do. Sorry.