Ask Me Help Desk - I need to leave my husband

I need to leave my husband

I have been married for 15 years and with my husband for 18. We have no kids, but my husband and I are done. Every day I pray to God to help me leave him. In a nut shell, my husband and I have not had intimate relations in almost 7 years, but this has been due to his medical condition for the past 4 years. However, he has never really been affectionate. The only time he has ever been affectionate is when he has been drinking (which is quite abit) and then I feel like I am being groped. He is 54 years old and is now trying to get disability and has not worked in several months. I am on unemployment and going to school to become a teacher (almost done!). Since he has not been working and can't do anything due to his disability, he sits home and watches TV or goes on the computer to watch porn or his friend come over and drinks with him. His medication makes him twice as susceptible to becoming drunk, but he won't stop (he slows down, but never stops entirely). We have had an enormous amount of financial stress this past year and we are going through a foreclosure. I have been planning to get my own apartment for over a year, but something always interferes. Instead of making him leave, I plan to move out because my mother-in-law lives with us right now and it wouldn't be fair for me to live in the house (which we're going to lose anyways) and not him, but he has no income coming in and I feel obligated to stay until his disability payments start arriving. The truth is I wish I could just pack up and leave right now, but I know that is not possible. We have been trying to sell the house but with the market being what it is, it house isn't moving for what we need to sell it for. I NEED HELP! My sleep is being affected and I look much older than I am. Any advice

Quote:

Originally Posted by lstar829

I have been married for 15 years and with my husband for 18. We have no kids, but my husband and I are done. Every day I pray to God to help me leave him. In a nut shell, my husband and I have not had intimate relations in almost 7 years, but this has been due to his medical condition for the past 4 years. However, he has never really been affectionate. The only time he has ever been affectionate is when he has been drinking (which is quite abit) and then I feel like I am being groped. He is 54 years old and is now trying to get disability and has not worked in several months. I am on unemployment and going to school to become a teacher (almost done!). Since he has not been working and can't do anything due to his disability, he sits home and watches TV or goes on the computer to watch porn or his friend come over and drinks with him. His medication makes him twice as susceptible to becoming drunk, but he won't stop (he slows down, but never stops entirely). We have had an enormous amount of financial stress this past year and we are going through a foreclosure. I have been planning to get my own apartment for over a year, but something always interferes. Instead of making him leave, I plan to move out because my mother-in-law lives with us right now and it wouldn't be fair for me to live in the house (which we're going to lose anyways) and not him, but he has no income coming in and I feel obligated to stay until his disability payments start arriving. The truth is I wish I could just pack up and leave right now, but I know that is not possible. We have been trying to sell the house but with the market being what it is, it house isn't moving for what we need to sell it for. I NEED HELP!! My sleep is being affected and I look much older than I am. Any advice

If you allow your home to be foreclosed or if you sign a Deed-in-Lieu of Foreclosure. Home owners will take a hit of about 250 points on their FICO score. This means if a their FICO score before foreclosure was 680, it could dip as low as 430. A home owner who wants to buy another home after foreclosure will end up waiting about 24 months before a lender will offer any kind of interest rate that makes sense. During that time you must have a near perfect credit.

The affect of a short sale on a home owner's credit report is much less damaging. The negative on credit may show up as a pre-foreclosure in redemption status, which will result in a loss of around 80 points from the FICO score. It can also simply show up as the loan was paid off and not affect your score at all. This means a short sale with a previous FICO of 680 could possibly see it fall to around 600 or it could remain the same.

There are actually companies that will work with you for free to buy your mortgage away from your mortgage company and avoid your foreclosure. I would advise looking into this first. Try http://www.speedyrealestate.info. Good luck!

Does your husband have any idea that you want to leave him? Have you guys talked about that yet?