Ask Me Help Desk - How do I get my husband to leave?

My husband is making my life a misery, he won't leave the marital home and is emotionally abusing me. He treats my 19yr old daughter the same way and yet treats our 13yr old son fine. I can't take much more I am in my third year as a student nurse and cannot afford to divorce him. He has enough money to go and rent somewhere but refuses to leave. Although he pays the mortgage I have to pay for all the utility bills and food and he pays for nothing for my son not even his dinner money. I have to work weekends which is not the ideal thing to be doing when studying and looking after a family. How can I get him to leave?

You file for divorce and request ownership of the home.

Quote:

Originally Posted by melanie parkinson

my husband is making my life a misery, he wont leave the marital home and is emotionally abusing me. He treats my 19yr old daughter the same way and yet treats our 13yr old son fine. I can't take much more I am in my third year as a student nurse and cannot afford to divorce him. He has enough money to go and rent somewhere but refuses to leave. Although he pays the mortgage I have to pay for all the utility bills and food and he pays for nothing for my son not even his dinner money. I have to work weekends which is not the ideal thing to be doing when studying and looking after a family. How can I get him to leave?

Sounds like you may have another love interest. I know that you do not want to hear this but... Try your best to work it out with your man. If all fails leave him and cut off all contact... If he loves you he will come looking for you and will promise to change his ways... If he does not , call a friend, move all your stuff, attend a good church... Get to know GOD really well... With GOD on your side you can't go wrong... The righteous will never be forsaken...

Divorce... divorce... divorce...

My husband and I have been married for 271/2 years. We moved from calif to va in 2002. Since then my life has been hell. In 2005 he started acting strange. He made a woman friend on the train he took to work. Did not tell him he couldn't have any friends. She even had the gall to invite me over to her house to a party. Later found out they had been friends for 2 years and were cosigning bad feelings about their spouses. He told me she was giving him direct hints for him to become her boyfriend... ( if this continues I'm going to have to get myself a boyfriend). I caught him in an affair with her... ( a couples Christmas card) He admitted it, we had counseling... 5 years later kids are grown and then he tells me ' I don't love you anymore'. That was two years ago. In baby steps---first withdrew from me---only had sex if I initiated it and it was all me... then a year later he moved into the other room... then he started doing things alone... then he wanted to start doing his own cooking and laundry in the last 3 months... keeps telling me he doesn't love me... apologizes gets teary eyed and looks so sad... Tells me it makes him sad... for the last 9 years he has been telling me he was tired of taking care of other people... I worked part time at the schools till we moved to va... was a soccer mom with two boys... stay at home mom... have one on his own with an ba degree... other one is still having problems with turning into a responsible adult and makes stupid decisions... but is also moved out. Son #2 would like to go college now but hubby says he cannot move back in. Now he tells me he doesn't think I deserve half of our assets because he earned the money... Tells me to move out... and in the last couple of days calls me a ' fat '. I am on nutria system... he also complains because he is paying for it. He packed up for a few days to work out of town... says he doesn't like to drive back and forth 2 hours up and two back... I am totally lost at what to do... I've tried it all... patience, ignore him... try to be loving to him but he just stand there and says,, if I let you hug me it will mean I have to hug you back... I say it is therapeutic people need human touch... he tells me to ' go and hug the dog'... how do I get him to leave.? This is hell... or come back to me? Ps... this started after his mother died... he got diabetics. We were wondering if maybe he could have erectile disfunction and is hiding it through detatchment.

Sad. Won't take care to feed his own kids. At least your going to nursing school to try to better yourself. I would think he would be responsible ---to have to pay for you to finish school... at least if he wanted out of the marriage I would think he would encourage you to finish so you can take care of yourself... Does he have a career? Just wondering if there is any jealousy or insecurity going on.

I can imagine it is very tough living with him, does he find the situation difficult also? Are you at home in the house all day, is he? I know you said you were studying, is the school close? It would be a tough time to divorce and finish your studies but it is tough also to do well under these conditions. Have you considered mediation or legal separation? Good luck with it as I do think the situation you are in is soul destroying and even though you are probably attached to your home, it would be better to sell it and start new maybe?