[Penguis17]

My parents take it as a personal offense when I have a problem, which would be fine if they didn't just find some way that I was inadequete to explain it. If something is wrong in my life, it's always because I didn't something wrong, or I didn't do something the way that THEY would have done it. I can only really tell them anything when we have a yelling fight which are occurring more and more frequently. Lately one of my parents will ask me a question or tell me to do something and I'll just burst into tears for no reason, but then start to feel very angry towards them. Everyday it seems to get a little worse and I resent them a little more. Even as I write this right now I'm starting to cry... and I have no idea why. I have struggled with my weight ever since I was old enough to really notice it and it's made me extremely self-conscious. I looked in the mirror today and hated myself... and it's not the first time. Everything about me is no good. Is this just stress? Is this normal? My moms answer is always 'go outside' or 'your room is messy, go clean it' or she'll tell me that I'm just being silly and that nothing is wrong with me. Any input would help...

[aqua@home]

Penjuis17... welcome,

Your words are very sad. I feel like you are fighting a battle all of the time, with others and within yourself. I know sometimes parents react to their children in ways even they don't even know they are doing. I am a little hard on my daughter, because I want her to be better than me. I don't want her to make the same mistakes I made. Maybe that is what your parents are doing. It isn't fair, and they have to realize that you are going to make mistakes and sometimes it's not your fault. Sometimes parents have to realize that their children are just people and they are not perfect.

Is something going on that you haven't talked about? I don't think you would burst into tears just during a conversation if there wasn't something really wrong. You sound very frustrated. Can you get that through to your parents? (I am assuming you are a teenager here.) Is there a school counsellor you can talk to? I know being a teenager can be very difficult and I know you do need a lot of support.

It sounds like your mom doesn't really hear you. By telling you to go outside or to your room, I am sure you are not feeling heard or validated. She needs to hear you. Even if you have friends, a grandparent, aunt, uncle, anyone you trust would work as a start. Even the school counsellor could get your parents involved, then they would see how much you really need them to hear you.

I know from experience that the weight issue can be a tough one. It doesn't matter what you look like on the outside, that is just how society is. I am sure you are a beautiful person, who really just needs some help to make it through a rocky time. If you are a teenager, I remember what it was like to have the hormones running my body. I am a little more clear on it now, but those hormones are crazy.

My suggestion with your parents is to keep talking to them. I'm sure they will hear you, if you don't give up on them. Talk and tell them all of your thoughts and feelings (all of them, don't hold back).

Take care.