[10shane01]

I am 13 turning 14 and I should be having a great life, I was abused as a kid but fought back and now the social people are starting to look into my family.2 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression but was told I was cured after some counseling.Hockey and track&field are major parts of my life. Its track season now and I'm excelling to the point where I may be able to become fastest kid in my province.A couple weeks ago I asked a girl out, I didn't know it but she was going out with one of those guys who play in a band. She told me she was going out with him so I said OK and supposedly got back to my life. Whenever I hang out with my friends I get a feeling that I don't belong, everyone else seems to be having so much fun so why don't I?I seem most of the time like I'm a happy person but recently I've been getting these feelings that are uncontrollable sadness. Sometimes I cry other times I just go quiet and don't feel like doing, talking or saying anything. I feel that I'm worth nothing and that I will eventually make a mistake that will make everyone hate me. Its become sort of my philosophy in life and I'm starting to hate myself because of it. I recognize that I need some help and was looking for some answers that can tell me what to do to find those answers because all I really want to do is be happy. I don't know who I really am anymore and if I still love the girl. Please help me

[Illusion]

Dear 10shane01 - Your thoughts create your feelings. If you tell yourself that you are worthless - that is how you will feel. Perhaps you have had experiences that have hurt you or made you feel this way. You may have internalized these negative experiences and accepted them as your own.

I am going to tell you a truth - that no matter what has happened to you, your spirit - you -are always whole and complete. There is a part of you that has never been hurt, never been damaged - your very being is always whole, complete and perfect. This is the you that accepts happiness and wants a better life. Anytime something hurts you, return to this truth about yourself.

People have opinions and sometimes those opinions are hurtful. I had a hard time as a kid and it took me a long time to figure out how life works. What I think you should learn is a better way to think about yourself. Create a safe place within yourself. Say, "I am worthy and well. I accept myself. I am truth, happiness and success. Wherever I go I find friends and acceptance. I let go of all sadness and pain. I am safe. Success and goodness are mine. I am divinely guided in all that I do."

Know that the universe that we live in holds nothing against us, ever. You have acceptance. There is only one life - one system of planets, one sun, one earth - this life is perfect and there is no other life. Life is good. People have wrong, negative beliefs that hurt us. Make a choice to accept good things about yourself. So long as you make choices that are good, you will succeed. Read any books that keep your spirits up. Check out any books by Ernest Holmes. The daily guide of affirmations would be a good book for you to read. Every day you have a different affirmation.

Learn about yourself, your feelings and what you think. The more you learn about yourself, the more you will learn how to take better care of yourself. Take care, dear one.

[chaplain john]

10shane01
As Illusion said the things we think and speak can influence our lives in many ways. Try to keep positive thoughts and as Illusion said tell yourself the things he said just be careful that you don't go too far the other way. Also know that those around you especially at your current age are not nearly as cool calm and collected as they act. They all have the same misgivings and worries as you. One thing though if the feelings of depression continue after you have been doing as Illusion suggested for a couple weeks to a month try seeing your old councilors and tell them of your feelings. If they are unavailable then find another professional councilor to talk with. Your school might be able to hook you up with one.
Blessings,
Chaplain John

[moomin007]

I agree with the above posts.
What I would say is this: you HAVE been diagnosed with clinical depression (this is a state of mind & NOT a label btw). Hopefully it would have been explained to you how this will affect your life, it will come in cycles throughout your life. It sounds as though you may be entering a 'dip'. Speak to someone as this is a good way of working through your feelings, it may be necessary to look at some chemical help through this period (either drugs or herbal have good results) but you must speak to your Dr about this route.
Otherwise, you're still very young and these feelings & emotions are all part of growing up! All natural and nothing to be afraid of.

God bless
Moomin