[Fox27]

So I just started a new job and I'm getting trained by a really cute girl. And it's okay because once I'm fully trained for maybe 5-7 shifts I won't be working with her anymore at all. But it's been two shifts and it's pretty much just me and her walking around and talking. She seems to be getting really comfortable around me so the last shift(I've been on 2 with her) I started making more and more contact with her (touching her arm when she made a joke etc.. ). Then it turned into this game where we would walk around the with our arms around each other or on each others hips to mess with the other staff members. And we talked about people we dated and stuff. She's been going out of her way to take me away from other shifts so I can be with her training.

And then I even ended up asking her to go have a beer with me and she did and we kept messing with the staff texting them and telling them we were going to go sleep with each other, and that we were getting an animal together(Just jokes but still.. ). Then she started telling me some personal stuff about her family that she wouldn't just tell anyone. So I came away thinking she's interested in me for sure.

But then in the last few days texting her when I tease her or whatever she brings up the guy who evaluates her work who is way older and she has a huge crush on him. She does extra paperwork for him to see and stuff. Or when her ex comes up in conversations she talks about going to visit him out of town. And she doesn't really ask me questions or sound interested in knowing about me.

Is it just because it's only been like 3 days we've known each other? Or is she giving me red flags. It's also notable that she's one of the few women in this field and she has a lot of guys pursuing her. Thing is they are way older than her and she's told me she's not interested in any of them.

What I don't understand is if she's letting me touch her and she's touching me the same way, going out of her way to have shifts with me. Letting me take her out for a beer without really knowing her. Telling me personal stuff about her life, giving me a hug goodbye. And I can tell she wants me to go even further with the touching. Why is she combating my flirty texts with talking about other guys?

[WisperWill70]

RED FLAGS indeed! Also -- do you really want to be "joking" like this and messing around at a new job, which, presumably, you want to keep? -- Forget the girl and date someone outside the workplace. Don't be unprofessional at work. You could even get in trouble for poking/touching her if she changes her mind.

Just don't go there.

If she was interested, she'd tell you (A girl like that). She likes the attention of lots of guys and has a crush on her older boss.. . yuck.

[Fox27]

Like I said I'll be working with her for another week and a half tops. There's only supposed to be one of us per site so once I'm trained it will be just me. And I know she likes the attention even if she won't admit it. Also our job is progressive so her crush on the boss isn't really her boss it's a guy that works in the profession she's working towards and she knows nothing will happen. I just want to know why I'm getting mixed signals and what she's thinking. I know she's attracted to me but beyond that I don't know what to read from this.

[WisperWill70]

The signals mean: I love the attention I like to flirt... I don't really care about this because I'll be out of your life soon, though. Also.. I'm telling you about my crushes on other people so you know I'm not taking this seriously. I'm going to talk about MYSELF but not really ask about you... I'm focusing just on me right now.

She might also be testing the waters a little bit with you -- seeing how she feels and if she might want more... Just go with the flow -- if she's interested - it will be clear.

[Fox27]

That's actually really helpful thank you! So I'll calm down with the texts and not be so flirty and just be selective with the contact I give her when we work together. Are there ways I can test her as well? Like actions I can take/not take to see how she reacts positive or negative to give me a better read?

Because right now it's me starting a few conversations a day via text where I just ask her things and listen to her answers. And at work we just flirt. Feels like I'm doing all the work.

[WisperWill70]

Yeah - you ARE doing all the work. Stop. Then you'll have all your answers.

That doesn't mean you have to be a block of ice - just chill out and be friendly but pull back on initiating things.

[talaniman]

Relax dude, its only been two days? Why are you so carried away so fast,and have NO perspective. Its not her sending mixed signals, its you reading them wrong! Step back, breathe and relax, as she is more than likely use to guys hitting on her, and she doesn't just shuts them down, but knows how to discourage gently enough to keep you wanting more.

Don't be so eager, this is your place of employment. What if she treats all of her coworkers with the same friendly flirty way?

TWO DAYS?? Unreal!