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LCD27 · Apr 6, 2012, 07:29 AM

I have a 4 year old daughter. We were together for a long time but when he found out I was pregnant her freaked out and wanted nothing to do with the baby. His family came around during my pregnancy and is in her life till this day. I did put him on her birth certificate.

Since she was born he has been coming in and out of her life. Shows up one month and then I don't hear from him in 3 to 6 months. He's never given me one penny. He is an alcoholic, a bum and I can truly honestly say something is wrong with him. He is suicidal. He family told me that themselves.

I want to have full custody of her and I would love to have all rights signed to me. Back in 2009 I saw a lawyer and he told me I would not have a sold case unless I have evidence proving that he is harm to my child. It was been 3 years since and nothing has changed. He has become worse. I would never leave my daughter a lone with him.

How can I go about this if I want full custody or even all rights assigned to me? And if I go would my case even be sold?

Please help me someone... I need to do this asap for my baby girl.

JudyKayTee · Apr 6, 2012, 07:37 AM

You pretty much have sole custody now - he has no Court-ordered rights.

If he goes to Court and wants visitation/custody then prove he's unfit. If nothing has changed since the last time you thought of taking him to Court you will have a problem.

Don't allow him to see her. If she visits with his family, go with her.

Ws he alcoholic, possibly suicidal, did he have "something wrong with him" when you were living with him? This is also something the Court looks at.

LCD27 · Apr 6, 2012, 07:45 AM

Well things have gotten worse since 2009. I am close with his mother but his mother has no contact with hima and hasn't had contact with him in 2 years. I am very close to his sister and little brother as well and they still talk to him. They are the ones that told me to keep my daughter away from him cause he is suicidal and something is wrong with him. They said he is not all there in the head. I definitely have proof that he drink every single day. I also have proof that he has not givien me a penny ever. I have been the only one supporting my daughter. No complaints. I just want him out of her life for now. He a danger to her right now.

Fr_Chuck · Apr 6, 2012, 08:12 AM

You did not say what court orders you currently have.

You will not get his "rights" taken away, since he has not done anything to allow it. Merely not visiting or even not paying support is not enough.

If you do not have any court orders you may file for custody, full custody does not mean he does not have rights to visit. For him to lose those you will need evidence in court that he is a actual threat to the child.

So have a doctor come into court and say he has examined him and he is suicidal, sorry it is not going to happen with what little info you have provided.

LCD27 · Apr 6, 2012, 08:20 AM

I currently have no court orders against him. I have let him slide with a lot. Things are getting worse on his side as the years go by. I am all for fathers right but if the guy has no interest in his child then why not do this? He is a danger to his daughter. I have his family to back it up. I have text messages and nasty pictures. I don't want bad blood with him or his family but I need to do what I think is right for my daughter and him not being there for her is the best thing. And he's not putting any effort in so why not? I know a lot of people have different situations but I think I've been nice guy for a long time. Now it's all about my daughter and he is a danger to her.

talaniman · Apr 6, 2012, 08:39 AM

If you feel that strongly, then start court proceedings for custody that stipulates no visitation, or supervised visitation. That makes it court ordered, and official.

Verbal orders, wishes, and suspicions are not official, and as you say you have let this slide for long enough, and should have been dealt with through the court long ago. That includes child support, and any other issues you have. Consulting a lawyer is the wise course of action before you do anything.

JudyKayTee · Apr 6, 2012, 08:41 AM

Go to Court, prove he's a danger, get sole custody. I would suggest that you retain an Attorney to help with the process.

ScottGem · Apr 6, 2012, 10:03 AM

Originally Posted by LCD27

I am all for fathers right but if the guy has no interest in his child then why not do this? He is a danger to his daughter. I have his family to back it up. I have text messages and nasty pictures. I don't want bad blood with him or his family but i need to do what i think is right for my daughter and him not being there for her is the best thing. And he's not putting any effort in so why not? I know a lot of people have different situations but i think i've been nice guy for a long time. Now it's all about my daughter and he is a danger to her.

If he is a danger to her PROVE IT. I don't see enough for you to do so.

I think you can get full legal and physical custody. Which will allow you to control any visits if he seeks them. But you won't get his rights terminated.