[njgrlinfl]

I have been dating this amazing guy for a few months. He came at me at full speed and told me everything I wanted to hear and meant it. I am a grown woman and have not felt this way for a long time for a man, especially after divorcing my husband .
He introduced me to all his friends who really liked me and let me know how they have never seen him this way with another woman. My friends also met him as well as his friends and all loved the chemistry between us and couldn't believe how we clicked. He was calling me and texting me regularly throughout the day and we were a pair.
He had been having problems in his business and had been quite stressed regarding the lack of business and the amount of bills he had to pay. Slowly, he started to withdraw from me and our relatioship. This worried me and I became more clingy. I started to have a lot of get togethers with our friends and "made" him come along. He was getting more depressed everyday and was withdrawing more and more. I didn't know what happened or what I did. Then, he started to tell me that I don't know him, he has demons from the past that hold him back from going forward, that he gets himself on lockdown and stays away from everyone, and lastly, made a fly by comment about someone he knew who was bi polar and watched my reaction. I didn't understand. But, he had been drinking heavily to medicate himself on a regular basis. Then, all of a sudden, he disappears. Finally when I got in touch with him, he wouldn't see me or answer my calls or texts. I started my own research about bi polar and saw many things similar. Now, I saw him and he is quite agitated, and I presume he is in a manic stage. He was finding faults with me and trying to start a fight. I was not going to fuel him so I was very controlled and nice. When I was leaving, he hugged me and told me to give it time, take it easy, and he's sorry but he's going through a lot. I mentiond about people taking meds when they are "depressed," and he was insulted and asked me "if he is crazy " that I think he needs meds. He knows that I know its more than depression. He also knows that I know its bi polar. But, he is ashamed. He is 46. What am I going to do? I care for him very much, but I have kids. We are suppose to go on a cruise in 3 weeks. What is going on in his mind? What is he thinking? Why is he staying away and not calling? Why can he talk to his friends and not me? Please help me.

[motherstrength]

This could be many things. You have only known this guy for a couple of months right? Give it some time and don't push too hard. Just remember to enjoy yourself! Relationships all have hard times so at this early of a stage I would let him know that you are there if he needs to talk about things and let him feel the comfort level to come to you. I'm not sure on the bi polar part. If he's having stress with work it may just be that. Everyone deals with stress in different ways. I hope this helps!

[DrBill100]

Diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder (BPD) requires a thorough and lengthy evaluation by a knowledgeable and experienced mental health practitioner. The rate of misdiagnosis is extremely high. The line of demarcation between major depression (MD) and BPD is always fuzzy.

You mention heavy drinking on a regular basis as "self-medication." That may or may not explain the drinking. Usually not. However, heavy drinking can account for both depression and mood swings. Finally, heavy drinking precludes any definitive psychiatric diagnosis.

I can't be of any assistance in determining what is going on in his mind... thinking... or your interpersonal communications. But I would advise a more subtle approach to expressing your suspicions about the nature of his problems.

If he is suffering from BPD he needs to see a specialist, not a general medical practitioner, and that specialist should make the diagnosis. That will make things easier for both of you.

While I'm sure your concern is genuine, many times the affected are inclined to interpret expressions of concern or assistance as an accusation of mental illness.

Best wishes to you and hopefully things will work out.

[Hopeless03]

I have ben with my boyfriend for years in a long distance relationship for the past few years. I have just moved back to the area and moved in with him and his daughter. To find that he is very depressed and drinking allot. I was thinking that he had been hinding being an alcoholic from me.. to come to find out that he is and has become overly depressed in the short peroid of time we have lived together the drinking deceased and then increases again.. he tells me he has rage that he can't control, he talks about suicide and states I'm pushing him in a corner. He crys all the time and then breaks out in laugher. I am very confused as to what is happening to this man. I didn't know a lot about bipolar disease but from what I have read, I believe my boyfriends problem is indeed bipolar disease. I don't know what to do in my situation. I don't know who is coming home.. we each have a child (teenagers) in the household. I worry from them both everyday. He doesn't seem to care for anyone or his self. He drinks and drives like it's no big deal. I am starting to feel guilty for his state of mind. He doesn't let me in and if I happen to get through it is all my fault. I strongly believe he is going to hurt himself or someone close to him out of rage and confusion. He can't remember what is going on day to day bases. I feel as if I need to walk away if he can't reach out for help. Which makes me feel even more guilty, because I love him, but he doesn't seem to want help or believe he needs help."But will state he doesn't know what wong with him" He is manic and depressed all at one time, which is very nerve racking for the people around him. I try staying away, which just makes him more upset and when I sit with him he crys and tells me he loves me but he is no good, then he will jump to other topic that has nothing to do with what we were talking about. I feel like pulling my hair out. I feel like I didn't sign up for this. I am confused and feel like I can't help him. It seem to make it worse just being around him. I need some advise here. Someone tell me I am not crazy.. How do you get help for someone that doesn't want it, and what do you do when he talks about taking his life and we will all be happier with out him.. I am in destrss here!