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imissubebe · Feb 7, 2009, 05:05 PM

About 7 months I met her ,I was in a relationship she had a boyfriend ,we both felt in love we talk for hours on the phone she would tell me how bad her boyfriend treat her,that she wasn't happy wit him he was to demanding. My relationship wasn't good to. Her relationship was a 4 .mine was a 9 year ,she would tell me how he would keep her away from her family, her family never agree wit her relationship wit him she never seem happy. So she brakes up wit him week later I broke up mine. She calls me crying and I went to her and gave the support she needed. We got togethere we started our relationship everything was so loving her famiy were happy, couse I was making her happy until this point her family still like me . I gave so much love ,told her how much I love her, she would do the same ,told me how happy she was she met me. Its 6 days she broke wit me , her ex and her still had comunication because of some money problems. He convince her to go back wit him. After everything that happen , her family is not happy wit her decision. Am hert because I really love her a lot , am missing very much I keep asking myself the same question why y y y.

ConfusedandLost · Feb 7, 2009, 05:12 PM

You were doomed from the beginning, both of you were in a relationship when you met. She left her relationship to be with you and you did the same. Didn't you think that would happen to you at some point? There is more to this than she is letting you know... I would walk away and do it fast.

UnluckyDucky · Feb 7, 2009, 08:40 PM

Sadly, your situation hits close to home with me. I too, was in a similar situation where the girl I fell in love with went back to her ex. Everybody, including her friends and family hates this guy. All of her friends that met me absolutely loved me.

Unfortunately, the bottom line here is she already made up her mind. I had to basically part ways with her and I'm not looking back. Yes I love her and miss her like crazy but there's nothing you can say or do that will change her mind so the best thing you can do for yourself now is to pick up the pieces left and keep going.

I asked myself over and over WHY, WHY, WHY. Sadly, to this day I still don't know why but that really doesn't matter anymore (because it really never does matter). You need to accept that your relationship is over and stop all contact with her and get on with your life - the sooner you do this the better, trust me.

neverme · Feb 7, 2009, 09:40 PM

When a relationship starts on unsteady ground it will end on it too. Deceit, no matter what the situation is, leads down a bad path.

You can try to look on the bright side and be happy that at least you weren't with this girl too long. It would have been worse if it was 6months down the line or something... silver lining?. maybe a bit grey really?

So my advice would be to pick your severely depleted dignity bag off the floor, dust it off and walk away.

_Someone_ · Feb 7, 2009, 09:49 PM

Sorry you are saying you had a 9 year relationship and you dumped your girlfriend to start a relationship with this girl?? You are completely out of my concepts really.
You didn't mention anything about your girlfriend of 9 years like you have passed 9 seconds with her.sorry but you deserve it.now you don't have nothing.neither your girlfriend nor her.people like you deserve to be alone forever.
I am wondering why you need help?! You come here after a 6 day relationship with that girl and you need help? There are a lot of people out there that had real problems.they came from long term relationships because they were dumped from people like you.you don't need help.your girlfriend needs help. Go and get real now.Dont live in dreams.

talaniman · Feb 8, 2009, 12:15 PM

To much, to fast, crash, and burn. Move on, but next time, let the healing process work before you give your heart away.

imissubebe · Feb 8, 2009, 12:48 PM

Originally Posted by _Someone_

sorry you are saying you had a 9 year relationship and you dumped your girlfriend to start a relationship with this girl?!?! you are completely out of my concepts really.
You didnt mention anything about your girlfriend of 9 years like you have passed 9 seconds with her.sorry but you deserve it.now you dont have nothing.neither your girlfriend nor her.people like you deserve to be alone forever.
I am wondering why you need help??!! You come here after a 6 day relationship with that girl and you need help??There are a lot of people out there that had real problems.they came from long term relationships because they were dumped from people like you.you dont need help.your girlfriend needs help. Go and get real now.Dont live in dreams.

I know what you are telling me is true , but my 9year relationship was about the first 4 years were good but the othere5 were hell. Now this othere girl she had everything I always wanted her family loves me. To this point they still want to keep a close relationship wit me . Thank you for your answere. I like honesty

imissubebe · Feb 8, 2009, 01:07 PM

Originally Posted by neverme

When a relationship starts on unsteady ground it will end on it too. Deceit, no matter what the situation is, leads down a bad path.

You can try to look on the bright side and be happy that at least you weren't with this girl too long. It would have been worse if it was 6months down the line or something...silver lining?..maybe a bit grey really?!

So my advice would be to pick your severely depleted dignity bag off the floor, dust it off and walk away.

Do u think she will realize he won't change at all and still be the same treating her bad ,like he was before, and know she still has feeling about me and she knew that I still love her after lets say 3/4 month she would call me , and this time start on solid ground there's always second chances. And life also gives u suppresses.

UnluckyDucky · Feb 8, 2009, 03:11 PM

Honestly, I wouldn't count on her realizing it will be the same with her ex. You see, I keep thinking the same thing. I keep thinking "Maybe she'll realize he's a douchebag and run back into my arms" but I know that's probably not going to happen. Is it possible? Yes. Is it likely? Probably not.

I know how you're feeling right now, I really do. I'm feeling those same things and thinking those same thoughts. But the reality is she has chosen to go back to him so the only thing that we can control now is how we live our life without her.

At some point down the road, as long as we focus on ourselves and stay No Contact, we will start to think clearly again. If she does indeed want a second chance with you, you will be able to decide whether if she really is the person you want to be with. I know what that answer is right now for you, but 3-4 months down the road you might surprise yourself with a different answer.

Its time for you to take care of yourself right now. Start going to the gym, look up old friends, learn a new skill... it will all help you I promise.

neverme · Feb 8, 2009, 04:30 PM

Originally Posted by imissubebe

do u think she will realize he wont change at all and still be the same treating her bad ,like he was before, and know she still has feeling about me and she knew that i still love her after lets say 3/4 month she would call me , and this time start on solid ground there's always second chances. and life also gives u suppresses.

Why would you want someone who left you?

Leave this relationship behind and move on.

You're just torturing yourself now!

ardahk · Feb 9, 2009, 07:08 AM

Im sorry, but you left your girlfriend of 9 years in the blink of an eye. Sorry to be rude but its guys like you that leave girls feeling insecure and unhappy with themselves.

You got up and left her after 9 years for someone who you had known for 7 months and who was taken, if not by definition, then at least emotionally.

I am finding it hard to have sympathy for you. But heed these people advice and move on.

I can only feel for your ex of 9 years. I hope she has come to her senses and moved on

kctiger · Feb 9, 2009, 07:10 AM

Karma is a BIYATCH!!

Carry on... :cool:

Romefalls19 · Feb 9, 2009, 08:05 AM

I agree, you went with the grass is greener side, and now you are dealing with your own heart ache. You made your bed, so lay in it

sarah63 · Feb 11, 2009, 08:30 AM

I believe it might be a good idea to ask her to send flowers to her, ask her to go out with you, take her to dinner, and talk things. Just try to remind her why she broke up with him in the first place by making her laugh, listen to her. After that, the decision is still hers but still you will know that you gave it a try!