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o NitSuA o · Mar 26, 2008, 06:15 PM

OK I have basically never said this to anybody but since it's the internet anything can happen right?

I am a 19 year old male in "college" and I am a virgin and very, very shy. In my 6 posts here I have given advice about being shy, but unfortunately I have not been able to take my advice and find myself still locking up in front of women that I find attractive, which is most of them my age lol. Part of this shyness is attributed to the fact that I do not like how I look, obviously by now you can tell that I am somewhat overweight. I am 5'11 and about 205, the good thing is that I was at about 220 about 3 months ago and even though I have lost 15 pounds I think I have at least 20 to go. On top of this, I have had 2 girlfriends the last of which basically asked me out because she took the lead and grabbed my hand in the middle of one of my classes. Long story short she told me that if she got pregnant she was keeping it, so I freaked out and ended up breaking it off after a 6 month relationship.

In more conjunction with my appearance, I feel that I am "unfit" to satisfy a woman sexually and if we did go out and have sex it would be terrible and the relationship would end. I am about 6 and a half inches erect and maybe and inch and a half thick if I hold a ruler to one side... and therefore feel my personality is the only thing I have going for me( which I do feel very comfortable about)

I am completely afraid of rejection but feel that I can overcome this if I want it enough. If you did read this I thank you greatly and hopefully you can give me some advice on the situation.

charlotte234s · Mar 26, 2008, 08:21 PM

First of all, looks are not everything, and even if you are slightly overweight, you should not spend your time obsessing about it, just exercise and eat healthy and do what's best for you, and you will still be attractive to a woman if you show her that you are a good person. Secondly, it's really not important, the size of your penis. Your description of yours also falls well within the range of normal, so there's no reason to worry about that either. Basically, if you like a woman and want to pursue her, but she rejects you for superficial reasons, she's probably not worth your time. Get to know her first by being friends so that you can see the real her. Good luck!

N0help4u · Mar 26, 2008, 08:28 PM

Try looking for a girlfriend that you feel more comfortable asking out.
If you are going to run from every girl that wants to keep her baby that might get pregnant you need to ask her up front before you get so far into the relationship---like BEFORE it goes horizontal!

You need to build more self esteem too! That would help heaps

Alty · Mar 26, 2008, 08:51 PM

First - let me tell you, there is nothing, absolutely nothing, wrong with being a virgin at the age of 19. I think you should hold your head up high and be proud that you haven't had sex just for the sake of having sex.

Second - you sound like such a nice guy. I can't imagine anyone not wanting to get to know you better and/or date you.

Third - Honey, I've dated gorgeous guys, I've dated not so gorgeous guys, and I've dated the guys in between, in the end, the only thing that mattered was their personality. Just be you, the rest will fall into place, trust me.

Fourth - Your penis isn't small, it's average, really. Don't be so worried about how you will perform in bed, when the time comes you will be just fine. You may have heard this before, and it really is true, size doesn't matter. Honestly. Just wait until you meet someone you really care about, and who really cares about you, and it will be great.

Now, stand up tall, brush off your slacks and go get them tiger. There is the perfect girl out there just waiting to meet a wonderful guy like you. And one day, when you're sitting on the porch with your wife, watching your kids play, you'll chuckle about this and realize that it really wasn't that bad after all.

Take care and Good luck.

simoneaugie · Mar 26, 2008, 09:20 PM

Penis size is "male power." Most women couldn't care less. Being good in bed, that has to do with communicating about what works. It has to do with reading another's reactions and then confirming what the reaction meant.

So, work on communication. The internet is safe and anonymous. There are girls who do not attract men much. These are often incredible people. They probably know how to talk, and will be happy talking to you. Practice. Watch others interact. Learn to read their body language.

Sometimes, it's baby steps. Frequently, it's scary. Go get 'em! And being a virgin? That only means that there's some stuff you haven't tried yet.

Choux · Mar 26, 2008, 09:27 PM

I think it is a *definite plus* for you that you have remained a virgin until you are 19. So many young people write in here and are totally jaded and burned out-turned off from meaningless bad sex in their teens...

I think your looks and your penis size are just fine. My youngest brother was a little shy with the ladies in his teen years, and that wasn't helped by our brother who was a sports' star and handsome and popular stud in high school. He worked his way out of shyness in college.

All men want a beautiful woman on their arm... it's genetic. :) I think it is important at this time that you don't overlook a lot of women who aren't knockouts. Talk and make friends with as many women as you can. Don't expect a girl you chat up to be "the one".. too much pressure! As you go forward in life you are going to want to have many relationships of all kinds with women. Shyness will disappear over time with plenty of life experience. :)

smoothy · Mar 27, 2008, 04:54 AM

Number one mistake shy people make is overthinking things before they talk with a woman. Many obsess about them and practically plan their whole lives before they even talk to them, then wonder why it hurts when the woman doesn't share their interest.

If you have to as a starting point find a woman you aren't immediately attracted to. Ask her out to eat, talk to her. You have to start someplace and this is the best one as you won't overthink this one. I'm not saying get engaged to her, but just talk with her.

Eventually you will start to see that other normal people don't overthink relationships with people they never had a first date with yet. And you can ask out other women you might find attractive. And as you do you will learn that even the beautiful people experience rejection and don't get the people they most want to for any number of reasons.

duck22 · Mar 27, 2008, 08:38 AM

To be comfortable with girls you have to become comfortable with yourself. To do this you need to build up yourself esteem. Since you are concerned with you weight then you should start dieting and hitting the gym. It takes a lot of time and effort but after you start seeing results you will undoubtedly start to feel better about yourself. Another thing I would recommend is purchasing some new clothes that you like. Once your truly feel good about yourself the rest will follow. Women dig proud confident men and not men who walk around with there head down constantly.

As far as you being a virgin its not anything to be upset over. No respectable girl is going to look down on you for being a virgin. If anything you could probably use it to your advantage when you meet the right girl.

amberlynn · Mar 27, 2008, 11:22 AM

Find a steady girlfriend.who will love you for you.don't be shy.there are worse cases out there.and they manage.I know girls who would kill to get a virgin on their hands.just be confident.and it will show.just have sex in the dark if you come to nothing else.

o NitSuA o · Mar 27, 2008, 04:05 PM

Originally Posted by amberlynn

find a steady girlfriend.who will love you for you.don't be shy.there are worse cases out there.and they manage.I know girls who would kill to get a virgin on their hands.just be confident.and it will show.just have sex in the dark if you come to nothing else.

Have sex in the dark?? What is that supposed to mean?

Alty · Mar 27, 2008, 04:12 PM

Originally Posted by o NitSuA o

have sex in the dark??? what is that supposed to mean?

I wouldn't worry about that one, sometimes you get the weird advice with the good advice and then allot of stuff in between. That was one of the bad ones. You'll get used to it.

GUYBRUSH · May 9, 2008, 03:16 AM

Originally Posted by amberlynn

I know girls who would kill to get a virgin on their hands.\.

Why :confused:

simoneaugie · May 9, 2008, 01:59 PM

Some girls would prefer a virgin because he doesn't think he knows it all yet. But, it depends on the virgin. Most virgin guys are the worst bed partner in the world. Some are the most teachable.

hudr · May 9, 2008, 02:01 PM

Originally Posted by o NitSuA o

ok i have basically never said this to anybody but since its the internet anything can happen right?

i am a 19 year old male in "college" and i am a virgin and very, very shy. In my 6 posts here i have given advice about being shy, but unfortunately I have not been able to take my advice and find myself still locking up in front of women that i find attractive, which is most of them my age lol. Part of this shyness is attributed to the fact that i do not like how i look, obviously by now you can tell that i am somewhat overweight. I am 5'11 and about 205, the good thing is that i was at about 220 about 3 months ago and even though i have lost 15 pounds i think i have at least 20 to go. On top of this, I have had 2 girlfriends the last of which basically asked me out because she took the lead and grabbed my hand in the middle of one of my classes. Long story short she told me that if she got pregnant she was keeping it, so i freaked out and ended up breaking it off after a 6 month relationship.

in more conjunction with my appearance, i feel that i am "unfit" to satisfy a woman sexually and if we did go out and have sex it would be terrible and the relationship would end. I am about 6 and a half inches erect and maybe and inch and a half thick if i hold a ruler to one side... and therefore feel my personality is the only thing i have going for me( which i do feel very comfortable about)

i am completely afraid of rejection but feel that i can overcome this if i want it enough. if you did read this i thank you greatly and hopefully you can give me some advice on the situation.

Just ask a girl out

hudr · May 9, 2008, 02:02 PM

:o :o

Originally Posted by hudr

just ask a girl out

GUYBRUSH · May 9, 2008, 07:44 PM

Originally Posted by simoneaugie

Some girls would prefer a virgin because he doesn't think he knows it all yet. But, it depends on the virgin. Most virgin guys are the worst bed partner in the world. Some are the most teachable.

Is that the only reason?

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