[scott_1976]

She did not lead him on. He read more into it than he should have. Conquering her was like a game to him, he does not give up, he said that himself.
You can be nice to a person that does not mean you're leading them on. If you don't speak to someone in two months, you don't return a call, you tell someone you're going out with your ex, that should give a person a clue you are not interested. And this guy is still talking about "pulling something off" It's not her, he needs to get a clue.
And why give me a reddie because I disagree with you, I was not giving him the advice, I was talking to you. I did not give you one. That's not how this works. But that's OK.

Did not lead him on huh?

"ok... well message me, and if I'm not busy maybe we will hang out."
"now wait... like i said; message me and if I'm not busy we will hang out"
"would you like to catch a drink?

Her: "now! "
ME: "no I still go 2 hours till I get to you"
HER: "I have plans, I cant"
ME: "how about a early lunch after school?
HER:"ok but we have to make it early I'm meeting up with my ex boyfriend, you can meet us then, so call me in the morning."

Like I said before, she should have just told him not interested instead of playing games!

[Triysle]

Did not lead him on huh?

"ok... well message me, and if I'm not busy maybe we will hang out."
"now wait... like i said; message me and if I'm not busy we will hang out"
"would you like to catch a drink?

Her: "now!?"
ME: "no i still go 2 hours till i get to you"
HER: "i have plans, i cant"
ME: "how about a early lunch after school?
HER:"ok but we have to make it early I'm meeting up with my ex boyfriend, you can meet us then, so call me in the morning."

Like I said before, she should have just told him not interested instead of playing games!

Hate to break it to you, but this is not "playing games." She was being friendly. That's it.

So a person is basically supposed to say either yes or no to hanging out, right away? That's a bit presumptuous.

Also, he was the one who asked if she wanted to catch a drink, not the other way around.

She really did not lead him on here. Anyone who thinks otherwise... well, we'll just have to agree to disagree ;)

~ Tee

[Sol Badguy]

So many or some of you may remember my post about how "I Creeping out the girl of my dreams" and my ludicrously long post on what I should have done to fix the problem, some of you said go for it, some of you said stop... here is episode 2 of that story.

Well today I went to her graduation; I'm a pro artist when it comes to making things look good so I made her a card, pick'd a little pink flower, and went up behind her ,and said "you look good in black" she turns around and lights up her face as if her Sailor had finally come home, gives me the most painful bear hug I've ever felt, sais things like " i can't believe your here!" "I'm happy you finally came" almost as if she was waiting for me...

Even her family wanted to meet me, they wanted to meet "Mr. Persistent" like "is that the guy? whoa! is that him? its that guy? dad seems happy to meet me, said i had guts to be so persistent, mom was chill, brother was neutral we didn't say much just one man handshake to the other. she asked me to follow her as she read my card told me to join them for some food at the buffet at the grad place. she went off got pics of ppl she liked, and talked to a bunch of ppl. i sat off to the side i didn't want to follow her all day that would have been weird. so i sat off the side and a bunch of ppl i knew came up to me to talk to me, so it was pretty chill.

now her sister HATES me and i mean... hates me, i tried to go up to her and try to make things better i was trying to make a "we got off on the wrong foot handshake" but she just brushed my hand off like she threw it away in disgust...

so anyways she went to leave and before she did she came up to me and said "OK I have to leave now" " I'm so glad you came" i said "good, at least someone is happy" she laughed and said " Hush hush" in a happy tone. knowing i knew her sister hated me.

she said "good luck with the marines", and i said "it will be some time before then" she gave me this confused interested look, i can't quit describe it.

anyways i said "ill yea around, she turnd away and left, and right as she turned away her sister said "leave her alone" I was surprised she didn't hear her sister. But they kept walking.

SOO here is the million dollar question, what now?

I thought of letting the card soke in for about 2 weeks and then calling her and saying "we never did catch that game of lazer-tag, are you still interested? or like "do you want to hang out before I go into the marines? (which isn't for another 8months)

And question number 2.

Is she *still* interested in me? At all... I mean normally I can tell but this girl is just unreadable... (almost wonder if that is why I'm so into her... she unpredictable.)

(darn it!. another long post!)

[Sol Badguy]

Whoa did someone move this? What the heck? Hmmm ill try moving it on my own.

[Homegirl 50]

Leave the girl alone.
She was glad to see you, told you "good luck in the Marines", not "Oh, I really would like to see you again"
Give it up dude.

[Sol Badguy]

All right homegirl50... tell me this then, why was she so ecstatic to see me if she doesn't want to see me again?


And don't say she's was just being nice, this went beyond that.

Dig deep and give me a real answer.


And once again, thank you for responding.

[Homegirl 50]

I'm thinking she was probably more surprised than anything. Maybe she was glad to see you, but once again she did not hang by your side or say she wanted to see you again.
You are reading more in to this than is there.
I am a very open person. I hug people I have not seem in a while, it does not mean that I'm in love with them, it's just how I am.
Leave the girl alone. She does not want to have a relationship with you.
Your persistence is starting to border on creepy.

[Homegirl 50]

She is unreadable because there is nothing to read. She is not in to you. You are looking to see what you want to see. Leave her alone!

[MrPersisnent]

Threads merged and let it be noted that MrPerisinent is Sol Badguy!!



Now before you go!. No I don't follow her, I don't try to find her randomly, or anything weird. Though when I did loose her number I did go on People finder to get it back (otherwise I would have never been able to talk to her again.) I have a life and I live it...

Now I know this girl does, or at some point did have a huge interest in me, but after a few complications, I weirded out her friends and her. Even though when I did talk to her she said "its happens" and "its ok". Even though when she told me to call her later I did; she always had an excuse, really good ones but honestly she wouldn't let me know if they are or not, so I stopped. Now a few months later I let things die off a bit, then made her the greatest gift she's ever gotten, said hi and she threw her arms around me and told me to join her for some food at the school celebration buffet we were at. Anyway when she left, she told me good luck in the marines and left. While her sister said "leave her alone"

I'm going to call her in 2 weeks, and see what's up, I mean if you don't like someone you don't give them encouragement right?? I mean if she tells me to stop, I will stop. But she hasn't told me anything yet.. am I just overreacting?

I know people say "persistence is key" but this is ridiculous.

am I just persistent or a stalker?? I'm to headstrong and determined to figure out on my own... someone help me..


ps
(for those who might remember my last post, I'm not trying to change names... I just forgot my password and recovery isn't working. (sol badguy))

[J_9]

It sounds as though she is not interested but does not want to hurt your feelings. I'd just leave her alone. Let her call you if she wants contact. Don't act needy and clingy, if she comes to you she is interested, if she doesn't... well move on.

[JBeaucaire]

Moved to this thread, from another one.


You've pointed to the answer within your own question:

...what if the person you're going after is the first girl in your whole life that has actually made you happy?

"First" means you subconsciously realize this is absolutely not your only path to happiness. I dated many women in my 7 years of dating, I love 4 very dearly, but it was the last and final love that persevered, because it was reciprocal and not fleeting.

Meanwhile, live in the now, not the yesterday. You are pining after how she USED to make you feel, not how she makes you feel now. This is critical.

Learning to love, experience, then move on is a must. Happiness comes from growing through experiences, not despairing them when they end.

ALL of your relationships will come to an end... all of them. Except the last one. And you must know that you haven't even come close to learning all you need to know about making a permanent commitment to someone. Right now, it is all about how you feel. That means you're not ready. When you say "first", it's clear you actually know this.

Dating is about feelings. Dating is about ebb and flow. Dating is emotional and informative. Dating is truly about focusing on yourself and how you are with someone else.

Marriage and commitment is about perseverance and steadfastness, it's about living a life putting someone else ahead of yourself. No way you can do that alone... the person you "commit" to has to be of the same mind. You cannot, CANNOT, ***CANNOT*** pursue commitment with someone who ain't that into you anymore, regardless of what they said last month.

OK?

[MrPersisnent]

So many people are saying "just go for it, your last try" and some are just saying leave her alone".

what the hell do i do.. i want to just called her and ask "do you want me to keep chasing you or leave you alone?

The graduation was a good note to leave on, but the face she gave me and all of the reactions say I should at least try one more time, but I'm wondering what to say...


How to you not think of someone that has truly made you happy?

[talaniman]

The graduation was a good note to leave on, but the face she gave me and all of the reactions say i should at least try one more time, but I'm wondering what to say...

Since your not going to believe any one that tells you your mind is playing tricks on you, at least wear a helmet when you run head first into a brick wall. I shook my head reading this post as obviously you are a guy who refuses to deal with the reality of your situation. Such a shame as she sounds really nice and you are so... stubborn, which won't help you at all in this situation.

Leave this poor female alone and take the hints she has nicely, but plainly given you.

[dsjamie]

Dude she was playing head games with you.. when girls do like that just say it man I know its hard but just stay away get her off your mind. Best thing you can do and just look forward to things. There's so many other chicks out there man. You just got to go places.

[ohsohappy]

Girls can get really uneasy if they're not sure they feel a certain way about a guy. And when a girl is uncertain, and the guy seems to come on too stron, she tends to recede. Do what you think is best. It's really nice that you have such strong feelings for her, but don't forget that you still have an entire life ahead of you if this one doesn't happen to work out.

[asking]

I think you should leave her alone. I don't think she's interested in you. (I would guess she thought you had a nice smile but that's all and is too nice to know how to give you the brush off, but that's about it.) It is not necessary to say goodbye to her. It sounds like you barely know her. You might want to see her again, but sometimes it's time to move on.

I think the encounter you are imagining will just make her uncomfortable, not go the way you hope, and end up making you want to try once more to explain yourself--hoping she'll finally be interested.

Although it's hard to imagine right now, you will meet other women. Right now, I really think you should learn to read people a bit better and control your impulses somewhat.

What made you decide to join the marines?